The Definition of Self-Love

love_ambassador_icon230x230Team Love Prompt: defines self love as narcissism, conceit, and vanity. What do you think self love is?

Reading this definition brought a wave of sadness over me. If this is a definition of self-love then no wonder people look in the mirror and hate what they see. We are a society that has been conditioned to believe that loving the self is vane and therefore is something to strive against instead of toward. But that isn’t the only reason I felt sadness. The definition is a poke for me – it mirrors my own lack of self love. It mirrors the self judgments, expectations, guilt, shame, fear, self loathing, self condemnation and a myriad of limiting self beliefs.

We are taught not to be for ourselves first – that this is selfish and not selfless. But how are we to ever be for others first if we don’t take time out for ourselves and our own love? How can we truly love another when we don’t truly love ourselves. If others are our mirrors and we see the light in others in the spirit of Namaste – can we truly see it, feel it, express it when we don’t have the same spirit for the face in the mirror?

What do I think self love is? I think self love is looking in the mirror every day and accepting the person you see regardless of any choices they’ve made, anything they’ve experienced, or anything they believe. I think it’s having the courage to say I am worthy of love. I think it’s fearlessly looking into the abyss that is who you are to see what gets in your way of loving and accepting yourself unconditionally and breaking down any walls or false beliefs.

We hear so much about unconditional love and how love with conditions isn’t love. Yet we walk around dragging a sack of self conditions daily.

Put down the bag.

Release the conditions.

You are worthy of love simply because you are in this world.

Tell that to the face in the mirror.

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